What a shocker! Utah Hockey Club’s first game, and they’re already raking in big money from beer sales? Talk about a ‘sportsman’s paradise’! I guess it’s no wonder they’ve got the ‘Bud Light Celly Cam’ promotion going full throttle. It’s like they’re trying to create a new Olympic sport: Beer Chugging. And let’s not forget the ‘organic’ celebration of beer drinking! It’s like they’re giving fans a free pass to get drunk and act like idiots on the field. It’s no surprise that alcohol has been a part of sports for 150 years – it’s the perfect match for a game that’s as exciting as watching paint dry. The ‘Big Four’ sports in the U.S.? More like the ‘Big Four with a Beer in Hand.’ But hey, who cares about the game when you can just enjoy the ‘masculine’ spectacle of thousands cheering for who’s downing a beer faster, right? And the best part? They’re selling more beer than water now. It’s like they’re trying to rebrand the game as ‘Sports and Beer: The Perfect Mix.’ Bravo, Utah Hockey Club! You’re not just selling a game; you’re selling a party with a side of alcohol. Now, if only they could figure out a way to keep the fans from getting so hammered they forget the game even started.