What a grand victory, right? Trump’s first few weeks in office? It’s more like the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is a DOG’s EGG-cellent way to throw the federal workforce into disarray! With judges, even his own appointees, putting the brakes on his grand plans, it’s like he’s running a government marathon with a sprained ankle. And let’s not forget the ‘win’ where they tried to ‘un-fire’ the nation’s nuclear stockpile guards? It’s like a game of chess, but he’s playing with live nukes. His tariffs? The only thing they’re doubling is the number of business owners scratching their heads. And deportation? Well, if it’s the ‘largest in American history,’ it’s not because of success, it’s because the bar was set incredibly low. It’s like he’s playing a game of ‘Who Can Make America Most Chaotic and Confused.’ Bravo, Mr. Trump, bravo!