What a ‘stellar’ achievement for Juan Soto, setting a new ‘benchmark’ for sports contracts! It’s like the Mets just handed him a blank check and said, ‘Go for it, Juan!’ At $765 million, he’s not just a player, he’s a financial phenomenon. And with that kind of money, who needs to play, right? Plus, can we talk about Shohei Ohtani’s ‘deferred’ payments? It’s like getting a gift card that’s ‘only’ worth $460 million in 2034. What a ‘sophisticated’ move! And let’s not forget the ‘dozens’ of NFL players making more than a million a game. I guess it’s a good thing they’re so ‘in-demand,’ isn’t it? As for the list, it’s a who’s who of ‘high-value’ athletes, but with a side of ‘where’s the rest of my money?’