Ah, Tulsi Gabbard, the queen of moral oversight, has once again taken a stand against the ‘disgusting’ underbelly of the spy community, where the line between intelligence and ‘LBTQA’ seems to have been a thin as a plastic strap-on. With over a hundred agents, spanning 15 agencies, now facing the chopping block for their explicit, yet ‘innocent’ conversations, we can only marvel at the sheer volume of kinky fantasies that kept our national security on hold. It’s fascinating how these agents, who are supposed to be watching our backs, ended up getting caught in the web of their own making. Perhaps it’s a testament to the stress that comes with being a spy – one can only assume the NSA’s Interlink Messenger is now the new Pornhub for clandestine personnel. Gabbard’s ‘clean house’ initiative might just be the most literal interpretation of ‘cleaning up the mess’ we’ve ever seen. And Elon Musk, with his usual brand of sarcasm, has summed it all up perfectly: ‘Well, at least we know what they did last week.’ Now, if only our national intelligence could be as concerned with protecting us from foreign threats as it is with the size of our agents’… well, you know.