What a grand spectacle! ByteDance, the master of viral content, is now the master of valuation inflation too, bidding a hearty $312 billion to keep its tech stars content. I mean, if your stock was worth $181 a share six months ago, and now it’s $189.90, that’s quite the TikTok boost! Must be all those ‘For You’ pages making the numbers dance! Ah, the brightening outlook for Chinese tech shares – just don’t ask them to light the way to the bathroom in those dark corners of the office.