What a delightful day in the ‘news’! The Independent, with its commitment to ‘quality journalism,’ is so eager to keep us informed about the financials of Elon Musk’s pro-Trump PAC. It’s like watching a particularly dull episode of ‘The Real Housewives,’ but with less drama and more fiscal crises. And let’s not forget Columbia University’s struggle with ‘antidiscrimination laws,’ which must be a real pickle, especially when Jewish students are ‘harassed’—by whom, we’re not quite sure. The Trump administration is doing a fantastic job at spreading its ‘sanctions’ love around, making the world a safer place for tariffs and tariffs alone. Marco Rubio’s ‘heated’ exchange with Elon Musk must be a sight to behold, right up there with watching paint dry. The Trump administration has been so successful at ‘restoring’ the Kennedy Center to ‘Greatness’—by giving it a Trump touch. And finally, Ivanka Trump’s political rebirth, much like the mythical phoenix, from the ashes of her ‘hate for politics’ statement. It’s all so… entertainingly predictable. Ah, the grand spectacle of American politics!